Finally I am done with my last music exam. I can't believe it actually happened. To be honest, I don't really much care whether I did well or not, it's just something to celebrate.
What is also making me happier and happier is that I watched this really nice movie called "His and her Christmas". Although it's not realistic as all movies aren't, it's just funny and pleasant. I don't really much care if movies force us to think or not. I just need movies to enjoy my time and to have motivation, not to mention viewing life from a 'refreshed' point. Isn't that enough of a message??!
You know, it sometimes is disappointing when the 'link' between people is somehow missing. When you're sitting at school, trying to participate and then the (stupid) teacher either doesn't appreciate this fact or doesn't get what you are saying, not to mention the fact that some of them aren't really interested in what you say. Wonder why they were made teachers if they don't get what is meant by such a job. The only thing they (would) teach me is hating them and focusing on how to take revenge from such creatures. It may be partly my fault, but it's their major one.
The link is also missing when we're focusing on how to blame others and not ourselves. I mean I know the fact that there always are two in a problem. But don't you think we neglect the one part in a problem, which is ourselves? I have realized that we would win more if we had the ability to minimise how often we think others are guilty. I admit, it's some 'built-in' option in human beings: We tend to make ourselves look better, our voice sound higher and better, but it's really 'doable' to create a conscious whose job is to punish us when we are not blaming ourselves.
There are these people who tend to not neglect or ignore but sort of erase the phrase "I'm guilty" from their dictionary. As much as these people are (too) proud of themselves, they are also pathetic to a certain extent. They cause themselves too many sorrows and they force too much frustration in life than needed. Don't you think we have enough problems, that we don't need to force or invent more?
The problem is that if these people are children, it's not that difficult to prove them wrong, because that's the phase for teaching them and acknowledging them. But what if they're actually grown ups? What if they have exceeded the border of being taught by others? How can we inform them they are wrong without ever creating tension, without being called a trouble maker?
Without deep thinking on this topic, I guess there is no real solution for it except getting away from these persons. But there could be some practical way: One could at first leave them alone. Then one has to ask other people if they're facing the same problem we are when dealing with them (meaning their ego). If there happens to be a majority agreeing on the fact that they are really overreacting or exaggerating with their attitude, then we could find a way of talking to them, avoiding any hurt or fight.
Getting to this solution makes me relieved in a way or the other. It creates in me 'an uprising motivation'. On the one hand I am willing to admit I am one of these arrogant people (though I guess I'm not). On the other hand I am proud and motivated that it's not only me suffering from such attitude or let's say suffering from the provocation of such an arrogant attitude, proud that there are still (even if not many) open minded human beings on earth, able to differ between certain facts.
Hope we can make it to a brave new humanity, full of tolerance, communication and most of all love.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
The mirror of our lives
I read the lyrics of this song on Diana's blog and thought it's best to show it in here too. I liked it very much and hope you enjoy it, because it deserves our attention. It's like the mirror of our lives. Read it anyway!!
Martina McBride
You can spend your whole life building something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach
and you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway
Chorus:God is great, but sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway, I do it anyway
This world's gone crazy and it's hard to believe that tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway
You can love someone with all your heart, for all the right reasons,
and in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love them anyway
Chorus:God is great, but sometimes life ain't goodAnd when I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway, I do it anyway
You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in
that tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway, sing it anyway
I sing, I dream, I love, anyway
God is great, but sometimes life ain't goodAnd when I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it shouldBut I do it anyway, I do it anyway!
Martina McBride
You can spend your whole life building something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach
and you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway
Chorus:God is great, but sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway, I do it anyway
This world's gone crazy and it's hard to believe that tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway
You can love someone with all your heart, for all the right reasons,
and in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love them anyway
Chorus:God is great, but sometimes life ain't goodAnd when I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway, I do it anyway
You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in
that tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway, sing it anyway
I sing, I dream, I love, anyway
God is great, but sometimes life ain't goodAnd when I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it shouldBut I do it anyway, I do it anyway!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
When Abi started..
Abi is the proof whether your friends (or the new people who'll be your friends during this period) deserve to be called your friends or not.
At first we were all preparing for a happy end at school, has to do with the dream of getting good grades and all. I guess we all were planning on being emotional on the last school day, some of us kept saying things like: We'll stick together, no matter what will take place. We'll be friends forever and all this crap.
But, believe me when I tell you this, these people were exactly the people who denied the friendship as soon as they could. Reasons? Well..Just to prove they're right and to escape from something they said. Sometimes for grades. There are many reasons, I'm just not able to count all of them.
The truth popped out on several occasions, throughout the three years. Fact is: I don't really get how some people do the wrong thing and get upset and even angry (and are even willing to blame others) while they know they're guilty and that they did nothing towards making things better. How can they expect their being nice to be simply accepted while they didn't pay attention to the important part: making things right.
Never mind. That's one of the things which appeared to take much attention lately, has to do with the current and usual frustration, has to do with Abi.
Expect more than one post with this title or one which goes like: When Abi started - Part II.
Maybe I'll write a book and be famous..and then wake up from my dream.
At first we were all preparing for a happy end at school, has to do with the dream of getting good grades and all. I guess we all were planning on being emotional on the last school day, some of us kept saying things like: We'll stick together, no matter what will take place. We'll be friends forever and all this crap.
But, believe me when I tell you this, these people were exactly the people who denied the friendship as soon as they could. Reasons? Well..Just to prove they're right and to escape from something they said. Sometimes for grades. There are many reasons, I'm just not able to count all of them.
The truth popped out on several occasions, throughout the three years. Fact is: I don't really get how some people do the wrong thing and get upset and even angry (and are even willing to blame others) while they know they're guilty and that they did nothing towards making things better. How can they expect their being nice to be simply accepted while they didn't pay attention to the important part: making things right.
Never mind. That's one of the things which appeared to take much attention lately, has to do with the current and usual frustration, has to do with Abi.
Expect more than one post with this title or one which goes like: When Abi started - Part II.
Maybe I'll write a book and be famous..and then wake up from my dream.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
No good wishing
Deep inside
it hurts
seems I don't care
but the rhythm doesn't differ
it's the rhythm of today
and everyday
it's the rhythm of you and me
the crises we have to penetrate
Can't hide my sorrow
Can't do this anymore
Can't sacrifice anymore
Cause we can't hide our fakings and weakness
Just wanna hope for a better dream
Just wanna give you a good wishing
Wanna help myself out
without offending our deal
then I accuse you of the offence,
I myself did later on
So would it matter to blame
would it matter to care
if we don't even dare
to admit our faults
running for our sake
grabbing our conscience along
And when we reach home
we don't find
no home, no breath,
no conscience and no threat
It's all about human ego
it's all about us
Just wanna hope for a better dream
Just wanna tell you
there is no good wishing
if we stay guarded
it hurts
seems I don't care
but the rhythm doesn't differ
it's the rhythm of today
and everyday
it's the rhythm of you and me
the crises we have to penetrate
Can't hide my sorrow
Can't do this anymore
Can't sacrifice anymore
Cause we can't hide our fakings and weakness
Just wanna hope for a better dream
Just wanna give you a good wishing
Wanna help myself out
without offending our deal
then I accuse you of the offence,
I myself did later on
So would it matter to blame
would it matter to care
if we don't even dare
to admit our faults
running for our sake
grabbing our conscience along
And when we reach home
we don't find
no home, no breath,
no conscience and no threat
It's all about human ego
it's all about us
Just wanna hope for a better dream
Just wanna tell you
there is no good wishing
if we stay guarded
Monday, February 12, 2007
Being objective
No one, no matter how smart or tolerating he/she is, can be totally objective. That's simply something above human abilities: Nobody is perfect. But what we all can and should do is (at least in my opinion) to try to approximate perfection, meaning to try to be as objective as our abilities allow us to be. If we can achieve such a step, then almost all our unfair debates would be solved.
Objective has nothing to do with one's religion, one's ethnicity or one's culture. It's just a simple way which enables human beings to understand and tolerate their as well as other's opinions, even though both may differ (drastically).
Why does being objective NOT offend being religious? First of all being objective stands for the fact that each one has his own opinions, his own points of view, including his religious points of view. Second: some religions ask us to show others the right path and advise them in an appropriate way. Well, this, too, isn't against being objective. You can simply say your opinion in an objective way, which would make you fulfil what is required from you and still stay in the objective limit. For instance, I can say: Well, my religion tells me so and so. I have to do so and so. I believe in what I'm doing, though others are doing the contrary. (If I'm close to these others I can talk to them in private and discuss it with them if they want.)
Other than that no religion or belief or any other religious belongings ask anyone to do more than what I just mentioned. Besides, as far as Islam is concerned, I don't think tolerating with people who do the thing I don't do (or I'm not allowed to do because of my religion) or accepting what they do after advising them or disagreeing (by words, attitude or 'by my heart') with them in a proper way is a sin.
Last but not least, being objective is what prevents us from being either moral or 'principle-less', from being either radical or careless, from belonging to either extremes in any political, religious, cultural field.
I would love to be objective, actually I'm proud of choosing the tolerating way to express my opinion and I hope God will help me stay on the right path. :)
Objective has nothing to do with one's religion, one's ethnicity or one's culture. It's just a simple way which enables human beings to understand and tolerate their as well as other's opinions, even though both may differ (drastically).
Why does being objective NOT offend being religious? First of all being objective stands for the fact that each one has his own opinions, his own points of view, including his religious points of view. Second: some religions ask us to show others the right path and advise them in an appropriate way. Well, this, too, isn't against being objective. You can simply say your opinion in an objective way, which would make you fulfil what is required from you and still stay in the objective limit. For instance, I can say: Well, my religion tells me so and so. I have to do so and so. I believe in what I'm doing, though others are doing the contrary. (If I'm close to these others I can talk to them in private and discuss it with them if they want.)
Other than that no religion or belief or any other religious belongings ask anyone to do more than what I just mentioned. Besides, as far as Islam is concerned, I don't think tolerating with people who do the thing I don't do (or I'm not allowed to do because of my religion) or accepting what they do after advising them or disagreeing (by words, attitude or 'by my heart') with them in a proper way is a sin.
Last but not least, being objective is what prevents us from being either moral or 'principle-less', from being either radical or careless, from belonging to either extremes in any political, religious, cultural field.
I would love to be objective, actually I'm proud of choosing the tolerating way to express my opinion and I hope God will help me stay on the right path. :)
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Eine Kurzgeschichte
Nein, ich sag ihm gar nichts und tue so, als ob ich ihn nicht kenne. Denn das ist genau, was er machen wird.
Das letzte Mal, wo wir uns trafen, da war ich total durch einander; ich war so aufgeregt, dass ich ihn beinahe geschubst habe und mein Gesicht brannte stark, dass er meine Unsicherheit wahrscheinlich bemerkt hatte.
Aber dieses Mal ..dies Mal muss ich ganz ruhig sein, als ob er für mich nichts wert ist, was ja zukünftig sein soll. Denn eins muss ich endlich begreifen: Meine Hoffnungen bezüglich dieser Person wird sich nie und nimmer erfüllen. Denn was hätte man anders erwatet, er ignoriert mich immer. Warum sollte ich mich eigentlich jedes Mal vorbereiten auf den bangen Moment..der Moment, an dem er an mich näher kommt. Was schon geschehen ist, unter uns bzw. mit uns, kann weder noch mal aufgegriffen noch verbessert werden.
Jetzt reiβ dich mal zusammen und es wird schon alles gut laufen. Es ist nur ein Moment und es wird nachher alles in Ordnung sein..hoffentlich..
Ist es wirklich ein Moment, der sofort vergeht? Ist es so leicht, wie ich es mir überzeugen will? Oder ist es eher nicht wie ein Schicksaalsmoment für mich?
Vorher muss ich mir überlegen, was zu machen ist, wenn er mit mir redet. Ich muss auch planen, was zu machen, wenn er –was ja höchstwahrscheinlich passieren würde- wenn er mich auch gar nicht anguckt.
Und dann kommt die Krise von nachher, also nach dem scheuβlichen, ja verdammten (wenn auch erwünschten) Moment: Warum hat er mich vernachlässigt, mich ignoriert? Warum hat er mindestens nicht danach gefragt, wie es mir geht?
Oder vielleicht –was übrigens auch möglich wäre-frage ich mich genau das Gegenteil: Warum hat er mit mir gesprochen? Warum ausgerechnet mit mir? Es gab ja viele andere Leute um uns an diesem Moment. Oder wusste er vielleicht, dass ich ihn irgendwie erwartete? Oder glaubte er, dass ich, und nur ich, die Antwort auf seine Frage weiβ? Auch wenn dies richtig wäre, dann wollte er eben die Antwort und nicht diejenige, die diese Antwort geben wird.
Warum quäle ich mich immernoch? Warum werfe ich mich andauernd in einem Meer, wovon mich niemand retten wird?! Warum will ich das Rest meines Lebens in Verwirrungen verbringen?! Warum will ich ihn nicht ein für alle Mal vergessen?! Habe ich mich nicht vor kurzem entschieden, dieses Thema zu schlieβen und nie wieder drauf einzugehgen. Denn er kennt mich nicht. Er weiβ ja höchstens, dass ich das eine oder andere Mal mit ihm gesprochen habe. Jedoch weiβ er nicht, wer ich bin. Bin ich nicht seine..
Das letzte Mal, wo wir uns trafen, da war ich total durch einander; ich war so aufgeregt, dass ich ihn beinahe geschubst habe und mein Gesicht brannte stark, dass er meine Unsicherheit wahrscheinlich bemerkt hatte.
Aber dieses Mal ..dies Mal muss ich ganz ruhig sein, als ob er für mich nichts wert ist, was ja zukünftig sein soll. Denn eins muss ich endlich begreifen: Meine Hoffnungen bezüglich dieser Person wird sich nie und nimmer erfüllen. Denn was hätte man anders erwatet, er ignoriert mich immer. Warum sollte ich mich eigentlich jedes Mal vorbereiten auf den bangen Moment..der Moment, an dem er an mich näher kommt. Was schon geschehen ist, unter uns bzw. mit uns, kann weder noch mal aufgegriffen noch verbessert werden.
Jetzt reiβ dich mal zusammen und es wird schon alles gut laufen. Es ist nur ein Moment und es wird nachher alles in Ordnung sein..hoffentlich..
Ist es wirklich ein Moment, der sofort vergeht? Ist es so leicht, wie ich es mir überzeugen will? Oder ist es eher nicht wie ein Schicksaalsmoment für mich?
Vorher muss ich mir überlegen, was zu machen ist, wenn er mit mir redet. Ich muss auch planen, was zu machen, wenn er –was ja höchstwahrscheinlich passieren würde- wenn er mich auch gar nicht anguckt.
Und dann kommt die Krise von nachher, also nach dem scheuβlichen, ja verdammten (wenn auch erwünschten) Moment: Warum hat er mich vernachlässigt, mich ignoriert? Warum hat er mindestens nicht danach gefragt, wie es mir geht?
Oder vielleicht –was übrigens auch möglich wäre-frage ich mich genau das Gegenteil: Warum hat er mit mir gesprochen? Warum ausgerechnet mit mir? Es gab ja viele andere Leute um uns an diesem Moment. Oder wusste er vielleicht, dass ich ihn irgendwie erwartete? Oder glaubte er, dass ich, und nur ich, die Antwort auf seine Frage weiβ? Auch wenn dies richtig wäre, dann wollte er eben die Antwort und nicht diejenige, die diese Antwort geben wird.
Warum quäle ich mich immernoch? Warum werfe ich mich andauernd in einem Meer, wovon mich niemand retten wird?! Warum will ich das Rest meines Lebens in Verwirrungen verbringen?! Warum will ich ihn nicht ein für alle Mal vergessen?! Habe ich mich nicht vor kurzem entschieden, dieses Thema zu schlieβen und nie wieder drauf einzugehgen. Denn er kennt mich nicht. Er weiβ ja höchstens, dass ich das eine oder andere Mal mit ihm gesprochen habe. Jedoch weiβ er nicht, wer ich bin. Bin ich nicht seine..
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
In love..in love?
Is love scientifically proved? I don't know, didn't do any researches, but I would rather go for a "No" as an answer. Lately, I have started to be convinced of the fact that there isn't such thing as love or that the definition of love as shown in movies simply is exaggerated and can't exist in real life.
Of course, when you're in love, you think that this is the love of your life and that this is real love you're having for this one. But, viewing things from another perspective, what are we talking about? Two people want to have something for each other, want to stay and talk with each other, want to adore each other and want to feel this thing called 'love'.
But, as this love-feeling can occur several times with different people, this feeling can't be a once in a lifetime experience. The expression "the one" is no more practical. Maybe it is also something we convince ourselves we're going through.
At first I thought love is like destiny and I believed in such things mentioned in movies, love poems and fantasies. I believed there is 'the one' for everyone of us, meaning that you can fall in love only once during your whole life.
But now, (not that something in specific happened to me) I don't really believe in such phenomenas. As cruel as it may sound: love is a feeling we want to live, no matter if it's true or not. Being in love doesn't necessarily mean you can't live without this one, it simply means that you somehow fit together, not by virtue of destiny or your zodiac signs or love, but because both of you happen to want the same thing from each other and both of you don't hate each other. Maybe there lies some bit of affection among all this, but it doesn't exceed being an 'affection', an admiration, but not love in the sense shown in movies and other romantic plays.
That does not mean I'm against romantic movies or books, I just don't think they're realistic enough. In fact, romances are my favourite, but you have to be aware that reality is way too far from what is shown in there. Furthermore, that doesn't mean I'm against being in love or being in a spiritual connection, it just means I'm a bit confused (and disappointed) that what we dream of can never be true to the fullest extent, because what we dream of simply is unobtainable.
Nevertheless, I hope we can all manage to mix our lives and join in it some crazy bits of fantasy and other (major) realistic points in order to make our lives as profitable and enjoyable as it can be.
Of course, when you're in love, you think that this is the love of your life and that this is real love you're having for this one. But, viewing things from another perspective, what are we talking about? Two people want to have something for each other, want to stay and talk with each other, want to adore each other and want to feel this thing called 'love'.
But, as this love-feeling can occur several times with different people, this feeling can't be a once in a lifetime experience. The expression "the one" is no more practical. Maybe it is also something we convince ourselves we're going through.
At first I thought love is like destiny and I believed in such things mentioned in movies, love poems and fantasies. I believed there is 'the one' for everyone of us, meaning that you can fall in love only once during your whole life.
But now, (not that something in specific happened to me) I don't really believe in such phenomenas. As cruel as it may sound: love is a feeling we want to live, no matter if it's true or not. Being in love doesn't necessarily mean you can't live without this one, it simply means that you somehow fit together, not by virtue of destiny or your zodiac signs or love, but because both of you happen to want the same thing from each other and both of you don't hate each other. Maybe there lies some bit of affection among all this, but it doesn't exceed being an 'affection', an admiration, but not love in the sense shown in movies and other romantic plays.
That does not mean I'm against romantic movies or books, I just don't think they're realistic enough. In fact, romances are my favourite, but you have to be aware that reality is way too far from what is shown in there. Furthermore, that doesn't mean I'm against being in love or being in a spiritual connection, it just means I'm a bit confused (and disappointed) that what we dream of can never be true to the fullest extent, because what we dream of simply is unobtainable.
Nevertheless, I hope we can all manage to mix our lives and join in it some crazy bits of fantasy and other (major) realistic points in order to make our lives as profitable and enjoyable as it can be.
Monday, February 05, 2007
We're going to.. (does it matter?)
No, I won't say where we're going on our Abifahrt, because it doesn't matter anymore. We're going somewhere, anywhere where we can all first of all be able to come (meaning the price), spend our last days together and enjoy. Aren't these reasons enough for our Abifahrt? I would say yes.
So unless it's gonna cause some of us financial (or make some of us in danger), meaning serious trouble, the subject doesn't really deserve to be talked about anymore.
Just wishing all of us a jolly good time. Let's just make the best out of it so that we will go home with precious, memorable time.
Speaking of Abi-attributes. Remembered it's our last year, last trip, last time, last day, last exams..last everything.. I don't know, but I can't be so emotional about it right now. Is it a bad sign? Am I too cold? The fact is I just expected things to be tragic (especially for me), because every time I leave a class or something like that, I get emotional about it. But this time, it's not the case. Maybe it's not that a big deal. Maybe I'm rather saving my tears for the Abi-Ball.
Hope everything is gonna be just marvelous.
So unless it's gonna cause some of us financial (or make some of us in danger), meaning serious trouble, the subject doesn't really deserve to be talked about anymore.
Just wishing all of us a jolly good time. Let's just make the best out of it so that we will go home with precious, memorable time.
Speaking of Abi-attributes. Remembered it's our last year, last trip, last time, last day, last exams..last everything.. I don't know, but I can't be so emotional about it right now. Is it a bad sign? Am I too cold? The fact is I just expected things to be tragic (especially for me), because every time I leave a class or something like that, I get emotional about it. But this time, it's not the case. Maybe it's not that a big deal. Maybe I'm rather saving my tears for the Abi-Ball.
Hope everything is gonna be just marvelous.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Whoever invented "Count till ten before reacting" had some brilliant point!
What have I been up to lately? What is happening around, all over the world, everywhere I go? I have a one and only answer: FRUSTRATION.
Friends go out. Out of boredom, out of the lack of amusement, out of whatever it is, they have a fight. Why? Did anyone insult the other? Did anyone felt some sudden hate for the other? Did anyone hit the other? No. What then? Misunderstanding. Why do we misunderstand one another? Simply because we don't give ourselves the chance to think things over..to listen properly..to understand and here's the tricky part: to think of a concrete, and most of all proper reaction. This pretty much takes about ten seconds, so I would advise everyone as well as myself to take this anonymous advice into consideration: Count till ten before reacting.
Believe me, it will save us zillions of things: nerves first of all, time, health, anger and sorrows.
You can't believe how many people I know face problems because of this frustration. Needless to say that such frustration causes the death of some people, who suffer from health problems (diabetes or high or low blood pressure). Some of my relatives for instance have such trouble, which enlarges the worrying circle of life. Grandparents worry about their children and grandchildren. Grandparents get sick out of being nervous. Grandparents force their children (indirectly) to take care of them, go to the doctor and worry about them instead of working properly. Children do the same thing. Sometimes I get the impression that people are addicted to being nervous, so they worry about anything and everything. And if there is nothing to worry about (which happens rarely), we can worry about the fact that we're worrying. There will always be something to worry about, don't worry. (Excuse me, a bit excited)
Personally, I am trying hard to do the 'counting' thing, so please wish me luck. So, if I will fail in convincing others of this brilliant idea (which is totally for their own sake), I hope I would at least help myself with it and save myself from worrying.
People, don't worry, please!!
Friends go out. Out of boredom, out of the lack of amusement, out of whatever it is, they have a fight. Why? Did anyone insult the other? Did anyone felt some sudden hate for the other? Did anyone hit the other? No. What then? Misunderstanding. Why do we misunderstand one another? Simply because we don't give ourselves the chance to think things over..to listen properly..to understand and here's the tricky part: to think of a concrete, and most of all proper reaction. This pretty much takes about ten seconds, so I would advise everyone as well as myself to take this anonymous advice into consideration: Count till ten before reacting.
Believe me, it will save us zillions of things: nerves first of all, time, health, anger and sorrows.
You can't believe how many people I know face problems because of this frustration. Needless to say that such frustration causes the death of some people, who suffer from health problems (diabetes or high or low blood pressure). Some of my relatives for instance have such trouble, which enlarges the worrying circle of life. Grandparents worry about their children and grandchildren. Grandparents get sick out of being nervous. Grandparents force their children (indirectly) to take care of them, go to the doctor and worry about them instead of working properly. Children do the same thing. Sometimes I get the impression that people are addicted to being nervous, so they worry about anything and everything. And if there is nothing to worry about (which happens rarely), we can worry about the fact that we're worrying. There will always be something to worry about, don't worry. (Excuse me, a bit excited)
Personally, I am trying hard to do the 'counting' thing, so please wish me luck. So, if I will fail in convincing others of this brilliant idea (which is totally for their own sake), I hope I would at least help myself with it and save myself from worrying.
People, don't worry, please!!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
It's always better to talk things frankly!
I've always believed in being frank and talking face-to-face to the people you're in trouble with. That's been my motto for a long time.
But things change when I'm involved in a trouble and not just viewing it through the eyes of an outsider. It's not that simple to be frank when you're having trouble with someone, especially with a dear one. I , to be honest, keep asking myself whether this one deserves to be talked to or not. Whether this one is hurt as much as I am. Whether this one will appreciate what the talk we're having or just ignore the details in order to skip the discussion. One of the most important questions would be whether this talk , though I'm supposed to be talking to a (close) friend, doesn't mean I'm humiliating myself in front of this person. Because if I started the discussion or the talk, this could mean that I'm willing to admit I'm guilty or at least that I'm always the weak side; the one who apologizes and feels bad when things go wrong. Sometimes I think this way and sometimes I don't really believe things can get so far between friends.
Despite all the aspects I just said, I still believe in talking things over and sort of revising the problem between the ones involved. It's definitely better than hiding things or not talking at all, which I admit I have done before, unwisely!! You see, one can even take advantage from negative incidents as well as good ones.
Besides, what I've discovered right now, if the one you're talking to doesn't appreciate the discussion you're having, then allow me to tell you, you've chosen a wrong friend. Nevertheless, sometimes you need to be the patient one, prevent any further harsh arguments and give this one some time to think over the things that you've said. I would say, in cases of misunderstanding you just have to give so much effort to come out with the least losses on each side. After all without discussing things and making compromises this time or the other we wouldn't have been able to solve stuff and overcome misunderstandings.
This makes me kind of relieved, because I needed to think things over before starting some sort of a reassuring argument..but I don't think it's that a big deal as I think it is. Misunderstandings happen, you just have to search and find your way out. :)
I've always believed in being frank and talking face-to-face to the people you're in trouble with. That's been my motto for a long time.
But things change when I'm involved in a trouble and not just viewing it through the eyes of an outsider. It's not that simple to be frank when you're having trouble with someone, especially with a dear one. I , to be honest, keep asking myself whether this one deserves to be talked to or not. Whether this one is hurt as much as I am. Whether this one will appreciate what the talk we're having or just ignore the details in order to skip the discussion. One of the most important questions would be whether this talk , though I'm supposed to be talking to a (close) friend, doesn't mean I'm humiliating myself in front of this person. Because if I started the discussion or the talk, this could mean that I'm willing to admit I'm guilty or at least that I'm always the weak side; the one who apologizes and feels bad when things go wrong. Sometimes I think this way and sometimes I don't really believe things can get so far between friends.
Despite all the aspects I just said, I still believe in talking things over and sort of revising the problem between the ones involved. It's definitely better than hiding things or not talking at all, which I admit I have done before, unwisely!! You see, one can even take advantage from negative incidents as well as good ones.
Besides, what I've discovered right now, if the one you're talking to doesn't appreciate the discussion you're having, then allow me to tell you, you've chosen a wrong friend. Nevertheless, sometimes you need to be the patient one, prevent any further harsh arguments and give this one some time to think over the things that you've said. I would say, in cases of misunderstanding you just have to give so much effort to come out with the least losses on each side. After all without discussing things and making compromises this time or the other we wouldn't have been able to solve stuff and overcome misunderstandings.
This makes me kind of relieved, because I needed to think things over before starting some sort of a reassuring argument..but I don't think it's that a big deal as I think it is. Misunderstandings happen, you just have to search and find your way out. :)
Monday, January 29, 2007
Confusion
You know these moments when things start to collapse after they were so fun and could be no better? I am having one of these moments right now. Not that school is starting in a few hours, though it's one of the unimportant reasons. It's just I have been having a great vacation, which could be no better, and then, all of a sudden: everything has to collapse after being a bit perfect.
You know when you feel that everything (well most of the things) you believed in are false and fake and that you have to give them all up? Of course, among all this rubbish I'm talking lies a large bit of exaggeration, but I can't stop it.
Why can't life take a mid line: I mean why can't we just live normally, no too happy moments and no too lousy ones. Why can't life be boring and monotonous and all the things we're escaping from at a time. Yes, life would be boring without dreams. And yes, it would be boring without fights and sorrows, unluckily. But this is not the solution: to live only ups and downs. Excuse my nonsense, but that's how it feels right now.
Ok, I admit things are not that bad as I am viewing them. Well, it's just I was so excited for today. We were supposed to go to the book fair and find a bunch of interesting books. But while I was trying to make things right with a friend (a close one), I was the one to get blamed. Don't ask me if it's bad luck or mishandling things from my side, but it did happen and I don't even want to think about it. I would say both. So the fun disappeared and instead was remorse, a bit anger and worries. And here I am, regretting the fact that this was how my holidays ended. But let's look on the bright side: I had a bit fun all in all (during the vacation I mean) and I relaxed. I guess I am too ambitious to wish for more.
Changing the subject would help...At the end of the day I bought any book which seemed interesting. My choice was "Dubliners", the Irish collection by James Joyce. Well, we read some extracts of it in the English lesson, they were good and nice to read. I hope and think I am going to enjoy reading this book. Don't ask me why, but I am so keen on reading at the moment. And if not, then I would borrow any book from the school library, which I don't think is much different from the book fair thing. I just want to read and that's it.
Apart from that, I went to the AUC and got this application forum. And even in this, things weren't as easy as I thought they would be. They said we had to pass or do this exam to transfer to the university. My dad started worried and imagining obstacles, which make me believe that I won't attend this university after I am starting to like the place and all. Never mind, you never know which college you'll join so early, in my opinion at least. You just attend one and after a while you find yourself in it, with all it's pros and cons.
I guess that's it with exaggeration for today.
You know these moments when things start to collapse after they were so fun and could be no better? I am having one of these moments right now. Not that school is starting in a few hours, though it's one of the unimportant reasons. It's just I have been having a great vacation, which could be no better, and then, all of a sudden: everything has to collapse after being a bit perfect.
You know when you feel that everything (well most of the things) you believed in are false and fake and that you have to give them all up? Of course, among all this rubbish I'm talking lies a large bit of exaggeration, but I can't stop it.
Why can't life take a mid line: I mean why can't we just live normally, no too happy moments and no too lousy ones. Why can't life be boring and monotonous and all the things we're escaping from at a time. Yes, life would be boring without dreams. And yes, it would be boring without fights and sorrows, unluckily. But this is not the solution: to live only ups and downs. Excuse my nonsense, but that's how it feels right now.
Ok, I admit things are not that bad as I am viewing them. Well, it's just I was so excited for today. We were supposed to go to the book fair and find a bunch of interesting books. But while I was trying to make things right with a friend (a close one), I was the one to get blamed. Don't ask me if it's bad luck or mishandling things from my side, but it did happen and I don't even want to think about it. I would say both. So the fun disappeared and instead was remorse, a bit anger and worries. And here I am, regretting the fact that this was how my holidays ended. But let's look on the bright side: I had a bit fun all in all (during the vacation I mean) and I relaxed. I guess I am too ambitious to wish for more.
Changing the subject would help...At the end of the day I bought any book which seemed interesting. My choice was "Dubliners", the Irish collection by James Joyce. Well, we read some extracts of it in the English lesson, they were good and nice to read. I hope and think I am going to enjoy reading this book. Don't ask me why, but I am so keen on reading at the moment. And if not, then I would borrow any book from the school library, which I don't think is much different from the book fair thing. I just want to read and that's it.
Apart from that, I went to the AUC and got this application forum. And even in this, things weren't as easy as I thought they would be. They said we had to pass or do this exam to transfer to the university. My dad started worried and imagining obstacles, which make me believe that I won't attend this university after I am starting to like the place and all. Never mind, you never know which college you'll join so early, in my opinion at least. You just attend one and after a while you find yourself in it, with all it's pros and cons.
I guess that's it with exaggeration for today.
Friday, January 26, 2007
First impressions!!
Well, long time no post. I was just busy, but now I'm as free as I can be. I don't know why this happens to me every time?Whenever I am busy I always find plenty of things to talk about and have this 'desire' to write and speak out some thoughts in my mind. And then, when I'm free and have so much time to do whatever I want, I lose all these thoughts. I don't know, it's a bit annoying.
So, I will just talk about anything popping up into my mind. I just remembered that I once read that the novel 'Pride and Prejudice' was actually named 'First impressions' before coming out with the name we know nowadays. Though 'Pride and Prejudice' is the most fitting name to the novel I also like 'First impressions'. Don't you think we're a bit affected by the first impressions we make? Don't you, moreover, think that most of the time these first impressions are wrong and force us into false roads? When thinking over some things I've done in the past and some opinions I've built in the past just because of first impressions, I regret being that shallow and jumping into conclusions without any reason. I mean first impressions could be fun when you say: Yeah, this guy seems boring. But this assumption shouldn't affect your opinion, this assumption can go no further, it just cannot be but an assumption. So, I would advise any of you not to take assumptions serious because they may drive you mad or let you miss some chances in knowing new people. Just as the case of Mr. Darcy and Lizzy: Their 'first impressions' on each other prevented them from knowing each other's real person and from falling in love with each other. Maybe this would be the case with any of us. Maybe the first impression obstacle would prevent us from getting to know people we might miss: friends, relatives and people in general. Don't you think it would be unfortunate to lose things in such a simple way??!
Hope I could help with this post.
Well, long time no post. I was just busy, but now I'm as free as I can be. I don't know why this happens to me every time?Whenever I am busy I always find plenty of things to talk about and have this 'desire' to write and speak out some thoughts in my mind. And then, when I'm free and have so much time to do whatever I want, I lose all these thoughts. I don't know, it's a bit annoying.
So, I will just talk about anything popping up into my mind. I just remembered that I once read that the novel 'Pride and Prejudice' was actually named 'First impressions' before coming out with the name we know nowadays. Though 'Pride and Prejudice' is the most fitting name to the novel I also like 'First impressions'. Don't you think we're a bit affected by the first impressions we make? Don't you, moreover, think that most of the time these first impressions are wrong and force us into false roads? When thinking over some things I've done in the past and some opinions I've built in the past just because of first impressions, I regret being that shallow and jumping into conclusions without any reason. I mean first impressions could be fun when you say: Yeah, this guy seems boring. But this assumption shouldn't affect your opinion, this assumption can go no further, it just cannot be but an assumption. So, I would advise any of you not to take assumptions serious because they may drive you mad or let you miss some chances in knowing new people. Just as the case of Mr. Darcy and Lizzy: Their 'first impressions' on each other prevented them from knowing each other's real person and from falling in love with each other. Maybe this would be the case with any of us. Maybe the first impression obstacle would prevent us from getting to know people we might miss: friends, relatives and people in general. Don't you think it would be unfortunate to lose things in such a simple way??!
Hope I could help with this post.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
I'M 18..how nice? (is it good? I think I'm different, but a little bit before being 18..hehe)
Well well..It's exactly 12 am and it's MY BIRTHDAY today. I wish myself all the best in my next year and I wish that all my friends will stay beside me next year. Guys (if you happen to open the internet once in a while), I love you and always will. Can't imagine things without you.
Bas..other than that..a difference..Maybe I am more mature right now (actually it happened through the last year, of course not right now..:)) and found a new year to handle things.
Yes, I am proud of what I've achieved till now and hope I will be able to achieve what I want next year. What else? Nothing..I am not really celebrating my birthday with friends this year, as I don't have the time and temper to plan anything at the moment, even if this thing happens to be my bday. Nevertheless I am happy and wish myself the best..(yea yea..selfish me..hehe.nm)
Well well..It's exactly 12 am and it's MY BIRTHDAY today. I wish myself all the best in my next year and I wish that all my friends will stay beside me next year. Guys (if you happen to open the internet once in a while), I love you and always will. Can't imagine things without you.
Bas..other than that..a difference..Maybe I am more mature right now (actually it happened through the last year, of course not right now..:)) and found a new year to handle things.
Yes, I am proud of what I've achieved till now and hope I will be able to achieve what I want next year. What else? Nothing..I am not really celebrating my birthday with friends this year, as I don't have the time and temper to plan anything at the moment, even if this thing happens to be my bday. Nevertheless I am happy and wish myself the best..(yea yea..selfish me..hehe.nm)
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Was wondering through some thoughts of mine and came up with this, thought it's worth sharing..could be dedicated to anyone, not only about love and affection:
But you walked away
I wanted to talk to you
in the middle of all the rush
I wanted to tell you some things I had in mind
some wonderings I needed to share
I wanted to express what's inside this brain of mine
I just didn't dare
Though I don't believe in coincidence
it happened
though it was of common sense
I didn't make any sound
Maybe it's just my luck:
To wish and never dare
To hope and you don't care
To fall for your stubborn heart
while I couldn't bear to part
Was it me who disconnected?
Was it me to make a move?
No..it's only you
you walked away
But you walked away
I wanted to talk to you
in the middle of all the rush
I wanted to tell you some things I had in mind
some wonderings I needed to share
I wanted to express what's inside this brain of mine
I just didn't dare
Though I don't believe in coincidence
it happened
though it was of common sense
I didn't make any sound
Maybe it's just my luck:
To wish and never dare
To hope and you don't care
To fall for your stubborn heart
while I couldn't bear to part
Was it me who disconnected?
Was it me to make a move?
No..it's only you
you walked away
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Happy Eid!
Hey there, how are you all? Well, we're having a feast at the moment (for those who don't know about it). Actually for me and my mates at school we're not really able to celebrate anythin the usual way because of the EXAMS. Nevertheless I am having a great time.
Yesterday me and some few friends went out to the movies and watched a good film, though I thought it's not that good at first. (Khyana mashru3a). I had a nice time. Not all of my friends joined us, but I was like "I want to go out of this house and whatever it takes". (That's why I'm making a big fuss out of it.) Had some interesting talks and was refreshed. But then I came home late and had to listen to my mom being angry and blaming me for being late and going out once during the whole holidays..But I survived and that's it. I had to change moods and I think it was a great push for me.
And here I am today, still enjoying my time. Heard about Sadam's death, yeah.
To Mori: I don't really know what you critisize about the judgement. I don't know if it's right for a human being to 'kill someone else' even though if it was judicial.
Anyways..I have to go again..See you later and happy feast, everyone and anyone.
Hey there, how are you all? Well, we're having a feast at the moment (for those who don't know about it). Actually for me and my mates at school we're not really able to celebrate anythin the usual way because of the EXAMS. Nevertheless I am having a great time.
Yesterday me and some few friends went out to the movies and watched a good film, though I thought it's not that good at first. (Khyana mashru3a). I had a nice time. Not all of my friends joined us, but I was like "I want to go out of this house and whatever it takes". (That's why I'm making a big fuss out of it.) Had some interesting talks and was refreshed. But then I came home late and had to listen to my mom being angry and blaming me for being late and going out once during the whole holidays..But I survived and that's it. I had to change moods and I think it was a great push for me.
And here I am today, still enjoying my time. Heard about Sadam's death, yeah.
To Mori: I don't really know what you critisize about the judgement. I don't know if it's right for a human being to 'kill someone else' even though if it was judicial.
Anyways..I have to go again..See you later and happy feast, everyone and anyone.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
2006!!!!!!!Oh dear!!
Yesterday there was this programme on TV talking about 2006 and how people would generally consider it. Though I would think this question really annoying and stupid, I found it interesting listening to various perceptions from very different points of view.
It turned out that this year has a majority of bad occurences in it. Many celebrities and personally close people to me died. It wasn't such a pleasant year I daresay. It was also full of surprises, also unpleasant ones. I really never thought some events could take place, not to me or to people so close to me. Such events, I don't really want to reveal right now, were at first astonishing but then happened to be an everyday life.
That's not the point. The point is I was really somehow astonished by the number of bad occurences happening in general, and in my country and surrounding in specific. Of course there are also these typical Egyptians unaware of anything happening in their country or even to them. Wonder when they're going to wake up some day and revolt before it's too late. It's definitely high time to prove that Egyptians aren't what people say about them, not only to prove them wrong but to defend some moral principles we have to believe in.
For a while, exactly when watching the last stupid, purposeless demonstration in Al-Azhar, I was wondering whether we really want to prove the American prejudice wrong or we want to give them more and more evidence to offend us and insult our humanity. Because if we really aren't what they say, which I'm sure of, why don't we act accordingly and defend our lgoic and ourselves furthermore.
I don't know what to add. I am glad I was given the oppurtinity to think and to say my opinion properly, at least in here. Maybe other people don't get what a dangerous stage we've reached because they simply weren't given the same chance. But is human rights and equality something you believe in and recommend only when you're highly educated or ain't it rather something naturally??!!
In hope for a better future..what can I say.
Yesterday there was this programme on TV talking about 2006 and how people would generally consider it. Though I would think this question really annoying and stupid, I found it interesting listening to various perceptions from very different points of view.
It turned out that this year has a majority of bad occurences in it. Many celebrities and personally close people to me died. It wasn't such a pleasant year I daresay. It was also full of surprises, also unpleasant ones. I really never thought some events could take place, not to me or to people so close to me. Such events, I don't really want to reveal right now, were at first astonishing but then happened to be an everyday life.
That's not the point. The point is I was really somehow astonished by the number of bad occurences happening in general, and in my country and surrounding in specific. Of course there are also these typical Egyptians unaware of anything happening in their country or even to them. Wonder when they're going to wake up some day and revolt before it's too late. It's definitely high time to prove that Egyptians aren't what people say about them, not only to prove them wrong but to defend some moral principles we have to believe in.
For a while, exactly when watching the last stupid, purposeless demonstration in Al-Azhar, I was wondering whether we really want to prove the American prejudice wrong or we want to give them more and more evidence to offend us and insult our humanity. Because if we really aren't what they say, which I'm sure of, why don't we act accordingly and defend our lgoic and ourselves furthermore.
I don't know what to add. I am glad I was given the oppurtinity to think and to say my opinion properly, at least in here. Maybe other people don't get what a dangerous stage we've reached because they simply weren't given the same chance. But is human rights and equality something you believe in and recommend only when you're highly educated or ain't it rather something naturally??!!
In hope for a better future..what can I say.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Was a nice day indeeeed.. :D
What can I say, it was a very nice day. I had soo much fun and I really enjoyed how we all interacted in such a way. For people who don't know: we had this day free, gave each other presents and were hyperactive and funny the whole day long. I will miss you, guys and I will always cherish these precious moments of ours.
It's like the days we've got to party and have fun in order to get ready for the next difficult (vor allem boring) days. There's a birthday on Thursday and I hope I will be able to come. Me and my friends are meeting before the brithday to watch Pride and Prejudice. (for me it's the million time, for them just the first time..so excited).
I hope everything will be as nice as it was today.
I'm just happy and wanted to share this with you.
well, have nothing else to say..hope you're all doing great.
see you later!!
What can I say, it was a very nice day. I had soo much fun and I really enjoyed how we all interacted in such a way. For people who don't know: we had this day free, gave each other presents and were hyperactive and funny the whole day long. I will miss you, guys and I will always cherish these precious moments of ours.
It's like the days we've got to party and have fun in order to get ready for the next difficult (vor allem boring) days. There's a birthday on Thursday and I hope I will be able to come. Me and my friends are meeting before the brithday to watch Pride and Prejudice. (for me it's the million time, for them just the first time..so excited).
I hope everything will be as nice as it was today.
I'm just happy and wanted to share this with you.
well, have nothing else to say..hope you're all doing great.
see you later!!
Monday, December 11, 2006
That's life??!!well..
Ok..let's start counting some stuff annoying me or actually ASTONISHING me
First of all..I was a good, in a way happy human being. I struggled from time to time, but I found my way out at the end of the day. Exactly this description doesn't fit anymore. I feel that nowadays things can't be going well (at least with me)..you can't just say things are going fine with me..cause that means either you're neglecting things or you're not saying the truth.
How can things be fine when I feel there are these people doing nothing but being hypocrites and other people believing in what they say?
How can things be fine when for more than two weeks me and my surrounding aren't feeling good at all..or do you call constant crying feeling good?
How can things be fine when members of one group (not to speak of family members) lack the communication link with each other and have found nothing else to do than amuse themselves by either showing how perfect and brilliant they are (which is pretense by the way) or making fun of each other. Helping each other or just being yourself seems to be old-fashioned fantasy these days..
How can things be fine when I work hard and don't get what I deserve, which declines to not feeling fairly treated, filling myself (actually I'm not the only one) with despair and frustration??And believe me unfairness is the most thing one can hate and feel uncomfortable living with.
I do my work, ask if I need help and all.. But no..that doesn't seem enough (at all) these days. What should we do? You should go to a private teacher (still didn't finish) AND make him feed you with the words you need in a presentation..(let me be specific..not the words you need, the exact words you have to say..so you don't need anything more than pronouncing them, which is easy after some practise (..) ) That's how you're supposed to get your grades. Or ..yeah..I'm so unfair, there is another way of getting grades, on which you don't really have influence: If you're lucky enough you'll get fair, understanding teachers. (Hard luck or in German: PECH GEHABT..if you didn't get good teacher..)
You know what? People are sick of us saying this and complaining about it..Well, I'm sick,too. I'm sick that I can't get better things just because of my luck or the fact that I don't want to fully rely on private teachers.
Don't tell me that's what happens at every school. No, it doesn't. When you attend this school for one specific reason which is to graduate with this Abitur, they really do have to pay attention to make it a fair system, because that's what they (the school founding fathers or whoever) and our school is famous for. Or were their talks about fairness only for advertisement..no more? Maybe it will influence this one's future or career or whatever if they corrected the system somehow. Besides it feels so bad when you're able to get better grades and you did what it takes, but you simply don't get them. Isn't it unfair or am I talking nonsense as usual?
And don't tell me the famous expression: : Life is unfair!!!
That wasn't the life I was told about when I was a child, that isn't the life I was living two years ago. What has changed? Is it me? Or does life have to be unfair when getting older? I am not imagining an Utopia or something like that..I am just astonished, frustrated and disappointed. I used to be better than this and I don't think it's my mistake (I'm willing to admit my faults if it logic I mean).
Of course I have to end this post with the famous optimistic wishes for another better future. I simply don't think it's going to take place. I have not given up, but I am a bit sceptic these days. It felt good being honest and letting go with some annoying facts of what happened to be my everyday life.
What if the future had something better in mind with me, with all of us? Let us just hope for it, and if it turns out differently then let us just dream of our Utopia!!
Ok..let's start counting some stuff annoying me or actually ASTONISHING me
First of all..I was a good, in a way happy human being. I struggled from time to time, but I found my way out at the end of the day. Exactly this description doesn't fit anymore. I feel that nowadays things can't be going well (at least with me)..you can't just say things are going fine with me..cause that means either you're neglecting things or you're not saying the truth.
How can things be fine when I feel there are these people doing nothing but being hypocrites and other people believing in what they say?
How can things be fine when for more than two weeks me and my surrounding aren't feeling good at all..or do you call constant crying feeling good?
How can things be fine when members of one group (not to speak of family members) lack the communication link with each other and have found nothing else to do than amuse themselves by either showing how perfect and brilliant they are (which is pretense by the way) or making fun of each other. Helping each other or just being yourself seems to be old-fashioned fantasy these days..
How can things be fine when I work hard and don't get what I deserve, which declines to not feeling fairly treated, filling myself (actually I'm not the only one) with despair and frustration??And believe me unfairness is the most thing one can hate and feel uncomfortable living with.
I do my work, ask if I need help and all.. But no..that doesn't seem enough (at all) these days. What should we do? You should go to a private teacher (still didn't finish) AND make him feed you with the words you need in a presentation..(let me be specific..not the words you need, the exact words you have to say..so you don't need anything more than pronouncing them, which is easy after some practise (..) ) That's how you're supposed to get your grades. Or ..yeah..I'm so unfair, there is another way of getting grades, on which you don't really have influence: If you're lucky enough you'll get fair, understanding teachers. (Hard luck or in German: PECH GEHABT..if you didn't get good teacher..)
You know what? People are sick of us saying this and complaining about it..Well, I'm sick,too. I'm sick that I can't get better things just because of my luck or the fact that I don't want to fully rely on private teachers.
Don't tell me that's what happens at every school. No, it doesn't. When you attend this school for one specific reason which is to graduate with this Abitur, they really do have to pay attention to make it a fair system, because that's what they (the school founding fathers or whoever) and our school is famous for. Or were their talks about fairness only for advertisement..no more? Maybe it will influence this one's future or career or whatever if they corrected the system somehow. Besides it feels so bad when you're able to get better grades and you did what it takes, but you simply don't get them. Isn't it unfair or am I talking nonsense as usual?
And don't tell me the famous expression: : Life is unfair!!!
That wasn't the life I was told about when I was a child, that isn't the life I was living two years ago. What has changed? Is it me? Or does life have to be unfair when getting older? I am not imagining an Utopia or something like that..I am just astonished, frustrated and disappointed. I used to be better than this and I don't think it's my mistake (I'm willing to admit my faults if it logic I mean).
Of course I have to end this post with the famous optimistic wishes for another better future. I simply don't think it's going to take place. I have not given up, but I am a bit sceptic these days. It felt good being honest and letting go with some annoying facts of what happened to be my everyday life.
What if the future had something better in mind with me, with all of us? Let us just hope for it, and if it turns out differently then let us just dream of our Utopia!!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Final destination!!
I am glad we finished the exams, well glad wouldn't be fitting because they weren't that good. I am just happy we are finished..Btw we ARE literally finished (dead), because of these exams. I also wish the people doing "nachschreiben" all the best.
Well, finally I am relieved once again. Believe me, these two weeks were the most dreadful, stressful weeks I've ever had. I am excited that on Thursday there are many people having parties and all, it's just the sort of refreshment I needed. (there is a "7-meter" meeting..and also a birthday.) I missed this feeling that there won't be anyone telling me to go and study, though I still have some things to do, but exams have a special stress I dare say.
Today was a stressing day for many of us, but I guess the day will come when we will all look back at the current days and just laugh at our reaction towards school stuff in general. I sometimes say..It's just school, a bit too early for such horror scenes we imagine. I truly believe things are gonna be just fine..one day..some day..(Just don't ask when!!)
By the way, just remembered, Diana, I hope you're doing fine now and that everything is alright. Hopefully you will recover soon and will update us with everything. I will be praying for you as I said before.
I had so much fun today at school and I think things are getting somehow better for all of us, though it doesn't really show that much. And also if things didn't get better, I guess it's best to enjoy the moment and not to think about anything which may bother us or worsen our good mood. Let's just erase everything else than being happy (don't be selfish..just happy). At least this is what I've been trying to do lately. But I will admit I failed most of the time. Nevertheless I am giving it a try.
I guess I have nothing more to say.. let's wait and see.
I am glad we finished the exams, well glad wouldn't be fitting because they weren't that good. I am just happy we are finished..Btw we ARE literally finished (dead), because of these exams. I also wish the people doing "nachschreiben" all the best.
Well, finally I am relieved once again. Believe me, these two weeks were the most dreadful, stressful weeks I've ever had. I am excited that on Thursday there are many people having parties and all, it's just the sort of refreshment I needed. (there is a "7-meter" meeting..and also a birthday.) I missed this feeling that there won't be anyone telling me to go and study, though I still have some things to do, but exams have a special stress I dare say.
Today was a stressing day for many of us, but I guess the day will come when we will all look back at the current days and just laugh at our reaction towards school stuff in general. I sometimes say..It's just school, a bit too early for such horror scenes we imagine. I truly believe things are gonna be just fine..one day..some day..(Just don't ask when!!)
By the way, just remembered, Diana, I hope you're doing fine now and that everything is alright. Hopefully you will recover soon and will update us with everything. I will be praying for you as I said before.
I had so much fun today at school and I think things are getting somehow better for all of us, though it doesn't really show that much. And also if things didn't get better, I guess it's best to enjoy the moment and not to think about anything which may bother us or worsen our good mood. Let's just erase everything else than being happy (don't be selfish..just happy). At least this is what I've been trying to do lately. But I will admit I failed most of the time. Nevertheless I am giving it a try.
I guess I have nothing more to say.. let's wait and see.
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