That's life??!!well..
Ok..let's start counting some stuff annoying me or actually ASTONISHING me
First of all..I was a good, in a way happy human being. I struggled from time to time, but I found my way out at the end of the day. Exactly this description doesn't fit anymore. I feel that nowadays things can't be going well (at least with me)..you can't just say things are going fine with me..cause that means either you're neglecting things or you're not saying the truth.
How can things be fine when I feel there are these people doing nothing but being hypocrites and other people believing in what they say?
How can things be fine when for more than two weeks me and my surrounding aren't feeling good at all..or do you call constant crying feeling good?
How can things be fine when members of one group (not to speak of family members) lack the communication link with each other and have found nothing else to do than amuse themselves by either showing how perfect and brilliant they are (which is pretense by the way) or making fun of each other. Helping each other or just being yourself seems to be old-fashioned fantasy these days..
How can things be fine when I work hard and don't get what I deserve, which declines to not feeling fairly treated, filling myself (actually I'm not the only one) with despair and frustration??And believe me unfairness is the most thing one can hate and feel uncomfortable living with.
I do my work, ask if I need help and all.. But no..that doesn't seem enough (at all) these days. What should we do? You should go to a private teacher (still didn't finish) AND make him feed you with the words you need in a presentation..(let me be specific..not the words you need, the exact words you have to say..so you don't need anything more than pronouncing them, which is easy after some practise (..) ) That's how you're supposed to get your grades. Or ..yeah..I'm so unfair, there is another way of getting grades, on which you don't really have influence: If you're lucky enough you'll get fair, understanding teachers. (Hard luck or in German: PECH GEHABT..if you didn't get good teacher..)
You know what? People are sick of us saying this and complaining about it..Well, I'm sick,too. I'm sick that I can't get better things just because of my luck or the fact that I don't want to fully rely on private teachers.
Don't tell me that's what happens at every school. No, it doesn't. When you attend this school for one specific reason which is to graduate with this Abitur, they really do have to pay attention to make it a fair system, because that's what they (the school founding fathers or whoever) and our school is famous for. Or were their talks about fairness only for advertisement..no more? Maybe it will influence this one's future or career or whatever if they corrected the system somehow. Besides it feels so bad when you're able to get better grades and you did what it takes, but you simply don't get them. Isn't it unfair or am I talking nonsense as usual?
And don't tell me the famous expression: : Life is unfair!!!
That wasn't the life I was told about when I was a child, that isn't the life I was living two years ago. What has changed? Is it me? Or does life have to be unfair when getting older? I am not imagining an Utopia or something like that..I am just astonished, frustrated and disappointed. I used to be better than this and I don't think it's my mistake (I'm willing to admit my faults if it logic I mean).
Of course I have to end this post with the famous optimistic wishes for another better future. I simply don't think it's going to take place. I have not given up, but I am a bit sceptic these days. It felt good being honest and letting go with some annoying facts of what happened to be my everyday life.
What if the future had something better in mind with me, with all of us? Let us just hope for it, and if it turns out differently then let us just dream of our Utopia!!