Life will occasionally do us apart

It is universally acknowledged that any human being won't stick to his/her routine for a long time, meaning: the term routine is a temporary description applying for nobody and anybody.

It is also of equal consideration that nobody will ever have to face the trouble of forgetting the ones he loved and died, the ones he lived with and so on, because God gave us all the gift of forgetting each and everything, equally to the power of resisting this gift and the strong will to hold on to certain memories. That's why it is up to us: whether to love forever or not, whether to hate forever or not, whether to have a temporary routine or not.

But as common sense requires, any reasonable person keeps deep feelings (were they pride or vanity, intimacy whatsoever), experiences and pictures in his mind, which he can check on once and a while when fate reminds him of them. All these pieces are joined together, creating each and every one's perception of life and living.

So, any person we lose, which would make a broken heart of us, could be somehow recurred by the passing of time, the changing of routine.
Anyone who reads this may ask himself: So what? We all know this long ago. Or just: Nonsense.

What I am intending to express is that we can sometimes lose this lover or this boy/girlfriend (that's something expected, as real love is a part of any by passing though precious routine). The one thing we can never replace or make amends to is family. And by family I don't only mean parents and relatives, I also mean those dear friends who have been so important in our lives as to become part of our family for some time.

I just wish that whenever life tries to do us and our dearest ones apart, we will be able to hold on to them, dead or alive, forever or occasionally.

When life detaches to memories

Remember being a child? Remember how good it felt to be out of responsibilities, serious trouble and worries? Remember when nothing but your imaginary life seemed to count? Each time I remember these good old days, I can't help wishing for the opportunity to live these days again, though now is the important, wise but crazy life.

Why I remembered childhood phase especially these days is because I found out that we're entering a similar phase: a phase where we're supposed to give up (for a short time) what used to be our everyday life and turn to a bigger, newer and more important part of our life journey. It's another phase where we get to notice events and regularities fade away in pictures of memories. As much as it hurts for a while, as much as it takes some time and passes away, giving us the chance to concentrate on the next stage of our life chain.

Even though we're going away, leaving places we used to hang on, saying goodbye to people who were definitely included in our lives, we can still profit from such a phase and make the best of everything. Leaving one's place doesn't necessarily mean missing one's precious memories and friends. If we could manage to keep in touch with the good friends we gained throughout the years, then it's the best gift we're giving to ourselves. Every adult I know keeps telling me that the best time in his life was either at school or at university, and that his school and college friends are still his 'life companions' since then.

That's what I am -and hope we all are- trying to do the last few remaining days. I know and admit there are these people one can never get along with (for whatever a reason), but we all have to try to hold on to the friends we have and avoid every single possibility of losing them. Because if our school friends are the ones we can never find anywhere else, then it is our duty to stick to this friendship bond and never let anything or anyone do us apart.

Matter of fact, without school or teenage memories one can never go on with one's life. They are there for us, reminding us how weak we were one day, but how we struggled and proved to be strong once again. So, guys, stick to your memories and never let them go, because if you lost your memories, then you're pretty much losing an essential part of your identity and your life.

I hate to be a rival!!

Yes, I do hate to be a rival, not in a friendship. A friendship can't be forced, nor can it be fought. Why don't people let friends stay friends. Why do I have to pay for the fact that there is a jealous human being living in the middle of me and my friends. You never know what this jealousy can bring, and you never know how silly being jealous is unless you're in my shoes at this very moment.

As much as this topic is gross to me, I would like to put an end to it in this post, even though I won't (maybe) show it to anyone concerned. At least, I want to throw the burden thrown on me with no reason but me being an honest person:

I don't care who thinks what of me. I just don't want to be a rival. I don't approve of this. So, I hope anyone could deliver this message to anyone who still plans to offend my honesty and my relationship with friends or enemies. I am the sort of person who can't stay still while people around me keep spreading lies and faking the damn truth. Even if this statement would cost me some or anyone of my close friends, I can't really change who I am and who I want to be.

It's just annoying when people don't stop spreading lies, because they're simply feeling insecure. To these people: if you really can find nothing interesting or proper in you but your ability to fake reality, then you would be nothing but a pathetic, hopeless case, which I wouldn't bare to help.

You know what? It doesn't really matter if such people existed or vanished. It's not my problem if they don't want to help themselves. What I seriously hope is to keep in touch with my intimate friends. I really don't want our friendship to be affected by anyone who feels himself capable of annoying others. I am not threatening anyone or myself. I am just fed up with all this story and want to get rid of it as soon as possible. I hope bonds will prove themselves strong through the crowd of hypocrisy surrounding us. And if friends stopped believing (and believing in) each other, then they have to reconsider their friendship. Sorry to say so, but I won't let anyone ruin my damn ideologies, because they would be the only thing left after a friendship is endangered.

I am holding onto the hope that I am just exaggerating, because this topic is nothing but gross.
To the ones who still think they care about me:
Please, guys, if what you claim about our friendship is true, then try to ignore all the other things. Because it makes me feel bad when people I respect and love give credit to senseless stuff.
If we really are friends, then we shouldn't let anything come between us because it would ruin us and our relationship. (if it counts anyhow)
I am sorry to make a big fuss out of it, but I was indirectly showing you how annoying it is to listen to your dearest ones pay attention to things that don't count. Hope not to be misunderstood, for the sake of it. Take it easy as I am trying to, too.
We won't survive the annoyance, we will survive the misunderstanding phase, because I can sense its end so soon. Don't you hope so,too?

How does people's opinion affect us?

Is it about people? Or about you? Not only the decisions you have to take but the whole principles of your life, can they be affected by other people or not? Can you build up your opinions and your basic point of viewing life on what people say?

The answer would be no, of course. But there are these times when you really can't go on unless your direction is identical to the flow's. And what if your opinion doesn't match with the one of the flow? Do you have to rearrange your whole system? Does it mean you have to turn everything upside down? Will you keep changing your perspective just because of circumstances or people forcing you to? NO!!

Okay, no is an easy answer. But what does this NO mean? A conservative person would simply tell you: It means your principles can't be affected by other's judgement.
I would say: As long as you are convinced from the inside of what you believe to be your basic path in life, you should stick to it. By doing this step you are pretty much announcing you are ready for all sorts of attacks all around you. But guess what? No one is ready for life and the surprises life is hiding for us. Nevertheless, we don't have to give up.

I think that when God sees us and notices we're not giving up our moral beliefs, he won't let us drown and keep watching. Sometimes life seems as if no one cares for us anymore, because we're somehow different than the flow. But this isn't really true. Whenever I feel down and think it's the end with me, my dreams, my beliefs and therefore my future, something happens in order to show me how wrong I was. We have to, or at least I try to, hold on to this thought that God is watching me somewhere and that He just wants me to hang in there and that his support will more or less come in the right time.

Nevertheless, this doesn't deny that people may sometimes be right in their opinions. One shouldn't totally ignore what people say. I guess, one should be objective enough to know whether what they say is true or nonsensical. And maybe people would be right in this thing or the other. Maybe their opinion would really convince us of changing this or that point in our way of thinking.

And changing some points or changing the way we handle things doesn't necessarily mean we were wrong. It only means that there was something missing in what we thought was right. And if this improvement stands for the fact that we're not perfect, then allow me to tell you that I would choose not to be perfect, because it makes me know why I choose the right way and why this is actually a right way.

Different impressions

I have realized I was sort of criticizing what I just did. It felt bad, because I was doing exactly what the ones I hated did, except I did notice it and I don't think it occurred often.

Why doesn't it last, this feeling that things are just fine, simply feeling good? Why does it seem as if good things don't last, neither good one nor bad ones to be honest? Things change I guess, in order to make us less bored, in order to escape from the routine life would bring along if we were always happy.

I think the tricky part is for us to stop blaming fate or blaming anyone. It's a chance for us to prove we are strong and flexible enough to handle things when they go the way we don't prefer.
And I am telling you as a result of a personal experience: The time when you think everything is messed up, is exactly the time missing out of your life, because things won't stay complicated, definitely not if you wanted them to change to the contrary and done something towards that change. So, feeling bad is practically wasting one's time one way or the other.

Discussing is becoming one of the things I like. I always prefer to be as objective as possible. But sometimes it just doesn't work out the way it was supposed to do, especially when it comes to sensitive and personal subjects. I think that's a test of its own: Being able to stay and keep yourself neutral, though the subject talked about concerns you, concerns matters you believed and always will; politics and one's country for instance.

The last few days, we had some discussions and there occurred some (halfway offensive) opinions about groups I belong to, such as my country, my ethnic group so to speak. Apart from the fact that it feels bad when the place you live in is messed up somehow, it feels sort of obnoxious and drives me crazy sometimes when people are stubborn enough to claim they are right, when they simply no nothing of the country. I won't disagree if someone mentioned real facts, which contains some percentage of the truth, but it's provoking when people (not to speak of foreigners) add other information, which is by no means true.

This incidence made me a bit angry that I kind of lost control over myself. I mean, nothing happened except that I started to hate or scorn these people who are not of the same opinion as I am. And now I blame myself for blabbering the word "objective" and criticizing the ones who can't stay neutral, while -at the same time- I'm losing control over myself.

But, at the end, I realized this can happen. It's normal that one gets affected (emotional) when it comes to such topics. It's not that bad, I would say, because I noticed my fault and kind of am regretting it. I also hope people who would say anything, especially when their information is included in a serious discussion, then I would rather ask them (from the bottom of my heart) to be reassured of what they are saying, or else it would nothing be but offending other's belongings, which isn't pleasant, don't you think?